Fences for the many parts of your life can keep those details in their proper circle while ensuring that they don’t allow outside circles to cross over and cause issues.
When I was about five, my favorite toys were Matchbox cars, Lincoln Logs, and the Red River Gang western set which consisted of cowboys on horses, cattle, and lots of fences. I would spend hours making log cabins, setting up corrals for the cattle, and driving a small red Jeep Wrangler matchbox car around the homestead. I remember the fence sections would interlock with one another and I could make circles and squares of corrals to keep the cattle in, but making one long fencerow wasn’t really an option. Sometimes they fell over in that configuration, there weren’t enough pieces, and logically only one long row wouldn’t keep the cows from wandering off. I had to stick with smaller closed corrals.
This came to mind awhile back when talking with a friend. We were lamenting about the busyness of life, the intrusion of work into home life, and the general difficulty of maintaining balance when there is little margin in our lives. I’m sure we aren’t the only two who experience this.
The day I got my first smartphone was an exciting one—the Blackberry Storm. As exciting as it was, it was also another step toward blurring the lines between work, home, and entertainment. I remember thinking about how effective I would be once I was able to access calendars and emails while away from the office. I would be able to balance all of the areas of life in the palm of my hand and it would be glorious. What I didn’t realize at the time was that it would become all-consuming for me.
Years later I still struggle some with how to disengage in my off hours. People have access to me all the time. I rarely turn off my phone and work stuff constantly comes right to me. I know that I’m not alone in this. Some people have phones for convenience and keep a rein on the intrusion. Others have a more difficult time with that, including myself.
Back to the fences. My friend and I began to talk about putting up fences in life—not a long fence row to divide work and family—but instead smaller corrals to create separation in the pockets of life and identity. Work can be all-consuming, but that doesn’t mean that it belongs at the dinner table. Sabbath days help the body, and sabbath from technology helps the mind and the heart. Constant blurring of lines increases stress, prevents rest, and certainly impacts our relationships when we don’t strike a balance with the many facets of life and schedules.
Putting up fences can corral some of those unruly aspects of life. Those squares or circles of fencing for the Red River Gang kept the cattle IN and the pests OUT. Fences for the many parts of your life can keep those details in their proper circle while ensuring that they don’t allow outside circles to cross over and cause issues.
What do you need to put a fence around to keep it in the proper place?
What systems do you need to put in place to ensure that your many circles remain separate?
How can the use of fences give more honor and space to your relationships?
Husband, father, pastor, and Steelers fan. Lover of coffee, dogs, and bourbon.